Screenwriting - Week 3

26/02/2019

We had to ask what story Duncan is thinking about through yes or no questions

Story

• A female protagonist
• She has been in a relationship
• She has a troubled past
• Rural setting
• She has a goal
• She is a policewoman
• Her past is crime-related and is a former criminal
• She wants to go to another country
• Her past crimes were local
• She has an adoptive family who lives nearby
• Her relationship is related to her crime

There is a story in there, but it just needs more clarity, developed Complications (Act 2), and a Resolution (Act 3)

• Story starts in a police station
• She is alone during the night at the police station
• She starts to leave, but something stops her...
• Someone enters (a convicted, unmasked criminal) and wants confrontation
• The criminal wants her to commit a crime
• The criminal guilt trips her into committing a crime
• She did something wrong in her last crime

Notes

• Creation of a story involves discovery (creativity)
• At this point, the story is starting to get interesting.

Story (cont.)

• Her last crime involved a homicide
• It was a tangible crime
• The last crime was during her police training
• The new crime will not end well
• She has a moral dilemma for her helping the criminal
• She committed the homicide
• It wasn't in self-defense
• The homicide was a mistake, but wasn't intentional
• She used a weapon in committing the homicide
• The homicide was covered-up
• The homicide victim was a civilian at the wrong place, at the wrong time
• The homicide was meant to be a vigilante act
• They tried to stop animal testing in a factory
• The victim's treatment was initially justified

Notes

• Motivation gives direction to a story
• We are narrowing down specifics and detail before we carry on with the story
• We are coming up with interesting angles, despite not being ones Duncan has in mind

Story (cont.)

• The animals that were tested on were pigs
• The pigs were being exposed to diseases
• The victim was killed by one of the same diseases that the pigs were exposed with. He gets a taste of his own medicine.
• The new crime is at another animal testing facility
• She wants the testing stopped, but believes the criminal is going too far in resolving the issue
• The criminal is a traveler
• She has stayed in the rural setting all her life

Notes

• We are on the right track

What makes a good or great story

• Some kind of goal; tangible rather than being a good person (otherwise, it's too vague)
• Achieving a goal is a type of story
• A goal that the audience cares for
• Logic and consistency in the characters (decisions, actions)
• The best stories are things that doesn't happen to us everyday
• Some kind of character change or growth
• Reincorporation (something that happens early in the story and somehow effects the story later on. It's a type of cause and effect).
• Mystery, conflict

Notes

• Resolution can be many things and don't have to be tidy. It can be underesolved like movies in arthouse cinema.
• Generally, conflict drives a story and brings tension
• Conflict can take a long time to resolve
• Amateur writers tend to resolve conflict too quickly
• You should let it hang throughout the story
• Character choosing whether to follow logic or emotion. Either way is human, but logic can be cold, calculating, and robotic in the character's view

We were split into groups of three; continuing the same creative process (yes/no questions) as we did with Duncan

• She doesn't want to right the wrong from her past
• The new crime is urgent
• The new crime is 6 hours drive away (e.g. Invercargill to Temuka)
• The criminal is confident that he will succeed in the next crime and wants a violent end
• The criminal doesn't have a history of mental health
• The criminal's family raised animals

Notes

• I believe I will do a short film, but need to think of a story that's achievable to make in the digital filmmaking paper next semester
• I believe drama is a result of finding the 'extraordinary' in the 'ordinary' and as Hitchcock said 'Drama is life with the boring bits cut out'.
• Curiosity can be useful for generating story and character
• Duncan will be teaching us general screenwriting skills and concepts over the next three weeks
• Duncan likes teaching writing by having us writing

27/02/2019

Notes

• Complexity is allowed in a longer duration and character development over time
• We get emotion out of audiences by getting emotion out of characters - empathy.
• In a short film, it is possible to have at least one aspect of character growth
• As the character develops, the motivation may change
• Developing a messy story may lead to more opportunities
• Best ideas may not be logical, but that's okay.

Project ideas

• Drama based from my own isolation
• Drama about going on a walk and something happens...

We did the same yes or no question guessing game today, but with someone in the class

• In a modern town in Europe
• It's in England
• The protagonist is a 12-year old girl called Jane
• She is from middle class family
• She is running around alone on a street
• She has friends
• She is playing
• Something happens to her
• She has found something valuable
• She finds it interesting
• She knows what it is
• It's a wristwatch
• She found it on the side of the road
• Someone dangerous dropped the watch
• She brought the watch home with her
• She doesn't wear it or show it in front of her parents
• She hides the watch in a drawer
• The owner is looking for the watch
• There is nothing hidden in the watch
• She noticed the owner being pushy
• She shows the watch to her friends
• The owner will be unable to prove that it's his watch
• The original owner is the antagonist

Notes

• The story feels like it's something that could potentially happen, which brings authenticity

Story

• The owner is a man
• The girl convinces the man that it's not his watch

Notes

• The girl could potentially try to lie because she is worried that telling the truth will get her in a lot of trouble

Story (cont.)

•  An old lady intervenes
• The old lady tells of details on the watch; a chip on the back of the watch

It got complex and hard for me to follow at this point

We could individually resolve the story and going to attempt to write the story as a simple story for children.

Notes

• The watch becomes more personally and emotionally valuable than just financially
• The girl's morality is developing character growth, whereas the girl's morality on the watch is developing internal conflict.
• Having detail in a story helps apply reincorporation
• The watch is a type of McGuffin; a plot device that drives the story

The story as a simple children's story; I wrote it as though I was trying to tell to my younger nephews (they are 5 and 9). Duncan also encouraged me to choose a random idea I have come up with to develop for the screenwriting paper.


The story as a simple children's story 

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Jane. She is 12 years old and was on the street, playing and having fun. Her friends are not around, they are somewhere else, maybe they are with their mums and dads. Jane sees something in the gutter, she sees a watch, it looks pretty. Jane wants it, she reaches for it and takes it. She runs back home with the watch. Jane has to hide it and she does, she puts it in a drawer in her room, but she is worried she will get in trouble with her mum and dad. Jane has to keep the watch secret from them. 

Jane goes to a park to see her friends, she is now hiding the watch in her schoolbag. Jane arrives at the park and wears the watch. A bad man is looking for the watch and sees Jane from across the street. Jane shows the watch to her friends, who are so jealous and think it’s the coolest thing they had ever seen. The bad man comes to them and scares Jane and her friends, they try to run away. The bad man grabs Jane’s hand. He wants the watch, it’s his watch. Jane wants the bad man to go away. There’s no way a bad man like him would have a watch that awesome. 

A nice, old lady comes and tells the bad man to leave Jane alone. The old lady sees the watch on Jane. The old lady asks if there’s a scratch on the back of the watch. If it is, it must be the old lady’s watch. Jane looks and finds the scratch on the back of the watch. The bad man is angry, but the old lady says she will call the police if he’s doesn’t go away. The bad man runs off and the old lady forgives Jane. She invites Jane to come to her house for some biscuits and so they leave to go to the lady’s house with a smile on Jane’s face. 

The End.

We were told at the end to email our story to Chris McDonald

chris.mcdonald@sit.ac.nz

Subject: Year 2 film watch story

02/03/2019

Turangawaewae / A Place to Stand
Theme: Mental health, homelessness
The filmmakers' vision: It seems to express a sympathetic view on the Vietnam veterans who still suffer trauma to this day
The Setup: Establishes the main character, Tiare and his past trauma and eccentric personality. Strained relationship between Tiare and his daughter, but it's done so visually.
Character: Tiare is an elderly, Maori man who suffers trauma from fighting in Vietnam. He is homeless, eccentric, and wanders the streets of a city. 
Conflict: There is internal conflict within himself to do with his traumatic past. There is conflict between Tiare and his daughter, who insists for him to come home and be looked after, but he seems stubborn. The relationship between Tiare and his daughter is strained, but she does cares about him and becomes more understanding when he speaks about his involvement in Vietnam.
The Complications: He still suffers from his war experiences, and he is hit by a car
Resolution: He is taken home by his daughter. He is comfortable being back at the marae, but still experiences trauma from fighting in Vietnam.
Reincorporation: Tiare stands in a patch of grass at the bowls club, then he does the same at the end at the marae
Goal: Tiare doesn't have a goal that drives the story. He seems to take things in his life day by day.

Tama Tu
Theme: Friendship, war
The Setup: A group of Maori Battalion soldiers race to high up in an war-torn building. They play practical jokes on each other, while still keeping quiet.
Characters: They have a friendly relationship and like to joke with each other. The sniper seems to be the most serious person in the battalion.
Dilemma: The sniper sees a German solider reaching for a cat. He hesitates on whether to shoot him or not. It is also the closest thing to a complication in this film
Resolution: They do a prayer together and leave the building
Goal: It was basically to stay alive and alert in the building they were in.
Symbolism: The crow - it symbolises death, but also in Maori culture, when a bird comes inside, it's considered a bad omen or as a sign that someone has died.

Kerosene Creek
Theme: innocence, grief, loss, death
Characters: The teenage girl is with friends at the swimming hole. She has a somewhat friendly relationship with a young boy. 
Conflict - The teenage girl may feel guilt for not doing more with the young boy or something like that
The Setup: A teenage girl attends a tangi. She went out with some friends to a swimming hole.
Resolution: The teenage girl leaves an Auckland globe in the young boy's casket that she got from him.
I can't see what goal was being achieved for the story. I also couldn't identity any dilemma.

Shelved
I couldn't identify clearly what the theme was for this film, but the story was definitely entertaining.
Characters: Two robot characters (they are white and grey) are in dead-end assistant jobs. They speak and act like normal Kiwi working blokes. They make wise cracks and definitely possess artificial intelligence. They have a crush on the only human character in film. All these aspects make the character believable and relatable, as well as a slice of life.
Conflict: It doesn't show conflict, but I believe the grey robot would be conflicted about knowing his close workmate is going to shelved.
The Setup: A factory filled with robot workers. Two robots are tasked with getting a farewell card signed for a robot that's been made redundant.
Complications: They hear a rumor that the redundancy is to do with porn. A plot twist happens; The grey robot finds the robot that's being made redundant getting a farewell card signed for the white robot. The robots being made redundant are going to be replaced by humans.
Resolution: The white robot is dismantled and shelved away with the farewell card
Goal: To get a farewell card signed for a robot that's going to be replaced.