Screenwriting - Week 5
11/03/2019
A pilot episode should include general setup, establish characters, reason for further story development.
In The Wire's pilot episode...
Reason for further story development / series objective: They set up taking down a big crime boss, the need to apply new tactics (the show's title hints at that), Deangelo's dilemma
Reincorporation: The defendant that pointed out the criminals in the court case was found dead in the end of the episode. A flashback was applied to clarify this use of reincorporation. Even I didn't recognise the character before the flashback. However, the character did look familiar beforehand, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
Themes - loyalty, crime, failing war on crime.
What I like about The Wire is that unlike whodunit crime dramas, this show is not one-sided (limited to cops perspective), but is also two-sided because it includes the criminals' side of the story.
I would definitely watch more episodes of The Wire just to see how the story develops and see how far in the show they manage to get me engaged. To see how the quality of the show keeps me hooked.
The Wire has a lot of exposition to follow.
Curb Your Enthusiasm
The pilot episode was intended to set the show's aesthetic and as a template for further episodes. The aesthetic from the pilot episode was eventually changed to something else in the show.
To me, the pilot to Curb Your Enthusiasm was only funny until well into the episode. It had it moments, but from that pilot episode, it didn't interest me enough to watch more episodes of the show. I would rather watch The Wire.
Curb Your Enthusiasm lack a series objective, unlike The Wire.
Tone - Awkward comedy / situation comedy, awkwardness of social interactions
The 'friend of a friend' argument with Larry and his wife was the funniest scene in the pilot.
What I got from today's class is that we are judging pilots on their own merits
Oswald Gold
Even without the titular character not being the main character, we still got a really good idea of what type of character he is. To me, the titular character was quite narcissistic.
It was broadcast on TV2 in late 2005 as part of a TV2 Comedy Pilot Scheme. It was made on a budget of $45,000 from TVNZ and New Zealand on Air. None of the pilots broadcasted were green lit for further episodes.
I would binge watch Oswald Gold to see what happens, but not on a weekly basis.
Screen Arts
During Screen Arts, we watched Hitchcock's 1944 film, Lifeboat and There are moments in the film where characters are confronted on their own flaws and humanity. They look as though they have internal conflict concerning their background. This has occurred towards Connie and Gus, when interjects with dilemma. It's something I could think about applying into my screenwriting project.
12/03/2019
Story idea: They run away together?- I got a bit lost with reading Luqman's story, but I understood the gist of his story was emotions around a relationship.
- Actors that will be cast will need to honour the truth of their characters they are portraying and not be afraid or embarrassed to express emotion.
- 'Bull...shit' - a potential piece of dialogue for my story
- Caleb's story is not clear on where it is set - is it in space? Is it in a post-apocalypse? However, it's a story and main character that makes the makes the audience care and empathise with. His ending is believed to be cliched
They thought my main character could be a pen collector because of the focus on pens, which could be a way to hook audiences to the story and main character.
Does the main character have financial problems?
Consider how social anxiety manifests itself. People tend to be different in situations that are in public than are in private.
I'm not 100% keen on the pen collector idea or the financial problems because they're not aspects I want to look at in this story. Perhaps I could do something around that thought about public/private situations
Conceiving a TV show
Video shop going out of business because of online streaming.
A drama series set in a small city and it's about a video shop that's declining in business. They had to sell some of the shop. It's an idea influenced by the United Video shop in Timaru (which has got smaller) and the closure of the Civic Video shop in Glenfield, Auckland (largest Civic Video in the country).
Characters
Derek - Habitual cannabis smoker in his 30's and owner of the shop
Zack - 16 year old video shop worker and a big movie buff
Characters' wants
Derek wants the video shop to stay afloat as a business.
What the characters want in each episode
- Find vandals who wrecked the shop's signage
- Zack wants to run away from home and lives in the back room of the shop
Derek stays the same. Although, he's very concerned about his shop at the start, but gets more confident about it in the end.
Theme
Pride, stubbornness
Stories
A - Both characters working and Derek's personal life
B - Zack's life at high school
Potential events
- They get in trouble with the law by letting minors rent out R-rated video games
- Zack is tied up and stuck somewhere
- Surprises, beginnings, and endings.
14/03/2019
Story idea: What if the narrative is led by the main character's account that he tells at counseling15/03/2019
I planned out how I'm going to meet the deadline for the presentation I must do by the 1st of April. I set out goals for each week leading up to this.17th March - Finish story form
24th March - Find three films with common theme or genre. Lay out presentation. Write up logline, story, and plot.
31st March - Write up artistic intentions, research three practitioners, considering originality, APA referencing
1st April - Due for Submission
17/03/2019
Here I wrote up more and made changes to the original story form and modified. There is a lot of dialogue in this modified version. I had a creative block putting this together, but I went away from it for a while and then came back. This version is not perfect, it's not 100% what I want and it's not what I am aiming for, it's just so that I have a finished story in terms of structure. It's likely more changes will be made to this story.
A young man is in his bedroom, staring at some pens.
He is now in a counseling, meeting with the counselor he goes to see from time to time.
He sometimes doesn't go because his anxiety and depression can recede at times.
He does have his good days and bad days. The young man is in a deep thought about pens.
He is staring at a couple in a mug on a coffee table.
He sometimes doesn't go because his anxiety and depression can recede at times.
He does have his good days and bad days. The young man is in a deep thought about pens.
He is staring at a couple in a mug on a coffee table.
‘Pens. Pens are so… I don’t know.’
The counselor, a middle-aged woman speaks up, wanting to talk to him
‘Darren… Darren’. Darren gets startled.
‘Oh, sorry, Leah. I was just having one of my thoughts again’
The counselor has a pen at the ready, which makes Darren at it.
‘FYI, I was thinking about pens’
The counselor scribbles onto her pad and looks curious
‘Well, Darren. What is it about pens--
‘I don’t know. It’s only been recently. It could the potential it has. The purpose of a pen.
The words it creates to tell stories. To draw to visually explain to people complex stuff’
The words it creates to tell stories. To draw to visually explain to people complex stuff’
‘Are you collecting them’
‘What, no. I’m not interested in pen collecting.
I think it’s just a phrase that will go away in a couple weeks.’
We has had obsession with subjects and stuff before. A month ago, it was model making.
A few months ago, it was gardening. A few months before that, it was baking.
I think it’s just a phrase that will go away in a couple weeks.’
We has had obsession with subjects and stuff before. A month ago, it was model making.
A few months ago, it was gardening. A few months before that, it was baking.
‘
‘Tell me how your day went yesterday, Darren’
We go back to his bedroom in a flashback.
The bedroom is messy, but he doesn’t seem to care. Darren looks depressed and rugged.
He is in his mid-20’s and lives on his own. He goes on his usual morning routine.
He puts some bread into the toaster.
Once it pops, Darren quickly grabs it out and spreads margarine on it quickly too, which makes it melt into the toasted bread.
He also spreads vegemite onto the bread and then eats it over the kitchen bench.
He goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth, as well as spray some deodorant on himself.
He is in his mid-20’s and lives on his own. He goes on his usual morning routine.
He puts some bread into the toaster.
Once it pops, Darren quickly grabs it out and spreads margarine on it quickly too, which makes it melt into the toasted bread.
He also spreads vegemite onto the bread and then eats it over the kitchen bench.
He goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth, as well as spray some deodorant on himself.
He feels pain his head, a pain that borders on both anxiety and depression.
He doesn’t know what direction his life should go. He loudly sighs, shudders, but then he hears his phone vibrate.
He grabs it and it’s just another social media notification of some famous people he follows.
He tries to ring his family many times, but they never answer. His family seem to have their own lives to worry about.
He grabs a nice, cold water bottle from the fridge and places it into his backpack. He flings over the backpack and is now on his back.
He grabs his earphones and plugs it into his phone. He is listening to music. The music is somehow slightly calming him.
It’s helping him think clearly. He believes that he would probably be calm all the time if he was listening to music all day,
but the real world doesn’t allow it. For some reason, he can’t stop thinking about pens. He finds himself back in his bedroom staring at them again.
He decides to just take one of the pens with him. He feels as though the pen is a part of who he is.
He must talk and interact with people on a daily basis, in order to cash money out for getting washing done, or to get his shopping done for the week.
He doesn’t know what direction his life should go. He loudly sighs, shudders, but then he hears his phone vibrate.
He grabs it and it’s just another social media notification of some famous people he follows.
He tries to ring his family many times, but they never answer. His family seem to have their own lives to worry about.
He grabs a nice, cold water bottle from the fridge and places it into his backpack. He flings over the backpack and is now on his back.
He grabs his earphones and plugs it into his phone. He is listening to music. The music is somehow slightly calming him.
It’s helping him think clearly. He believes that he would probably be calm all the time if he was listening to music all day,
but the real world doesn’t allow it. For some reason, he can’t stop thinking about pens. He finds himself back in his bedroom staring at them again.
He decides to just take one of the pens with him. He feels as though the pen is a part of who he is.
He must talk and interact with people on a daily basis, in order to cash money out for getting washing done, or to get his shopping done for the week.
He leaves his unit and walks down some stairs. A woman comes out and runs on the spot. She is getting for a run and then sees him.
She is the same age as the young man. She greets him.
She is the same age as the young man. She greets him.
‘Hey. Darren’
He almost gets a fright, he didn’t see the woman, he was in his own little world listening to music.
The young woman is someone he knows. She’s someone he has known for long.
The young woman is someone he knows. She’s someone he has known for long.
‘Fuck’
The young woman realises he got a fright and apolgises, but the young man removes his headphones and insists there is no need to apologise.
He asks her if she is on her usual run and she nods and tells him he should think about going to a gym or join in a run with her sometime.
The young man has thought about joining a gym, but he feels shy, overwhelmed, and doesn’t where to start.
He asks her if she is on her usual run and she nods and tells him he should think about going to a gym or join in a run with her sometime.
The young man has thought about joining a gym, but he feels shy, overwhelmed, and doesn’t where to start.
‘Good day or bad day for you’
Darren doesn't respond. She repeats herself. He still doesn't respond
‘I heard you the first time. I just…’
‘What, Darren?
‘Uhh’
A young man walks past, someone they know. ‘Hey’
Darren and the young woman both say ‘Hey, James’.
‘Who is James’
‘He’s some guy. He’s a real brain box. His family moved down from Christchurch after the earthquakes’
‘What do you think about him’
‘He’s a good bloke, very friendly. I’ve worked with him when I was at the brewery, but like me he’s a quiet person’
’Darren…’
‘I have my good days and my bad days, Daisy. It’s hard to find work when you have mental health issues like myself.
I’m barely making a living on the dole.’
I’m barely making a living on the dole.’
The young woman halts the young man telling him there’s no shame in being alone. She has a spare room in her room if he wants it.
The young woman believes no one should be alone like him and be miserable all the time. There should be someone there for the young man.
The young man hesitates, he is uncertain. He moves towards a fence and crouches in a distressing manner, which concerns Daisy.
He is breathing heavily.
The young woman believes no one should be alone like him and be miserable all the time. There should be someone there for the young man.
The young man hesitates, he is uncertain. He moves towards a fence and crouches in a distressing manner, which concerns Daisy.
He is breathing heavily.
‘Darren, what’s wrong’
Is it some trick to get in a relationship with her? To sleep with her?
He knows if he does, he can’t move back to his old place because someone would had taken it by then. He would trapped.
Who wants a basket case like him’
He knows if he does, he can’t move back to his old place because someone would had taken it by then. He would trapped.
Who wants a basket case like him’
‘You’re worried about sharing your life with someone’
We are back in the counsellor's office. Darren is silent and sighs, thinking what to say
‘I don’t being alone, but… I just don’t be fooled. To make a mistake. I was trying to think logically’
‘People do make mistakes, Darren. It’s part of life. In this kind of situation, you need to search your feeling, not your brain tells you.’
‘I know you mean well, Daisy. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m embarrassed to say…
‘Say what, Darren
I...I.’
‘Say what you want. I promise you whatever it is, things won’t get awkward
He sniffs and says ‘I have feelings for you’
‘You do?’
He nods
‘ You may not know it, but you’re probably the strongest and bravest man I have ever met, Darren.
You walk and live with sad thoughts everyday and you still go on. You have your ups and downs, sure.
But you live, you try to fight it. No on, including you deserves to live with such sadness.
I implore you, you need someone there for you. Someone to look after you. Please, live with me’
You walk and live with sad thoughts everyday and you still go on. You have your ups and downs, sure.
But you live, you try to fight it. No on, including you deserves to live with such sadness.
I implore you, you need someone there for you. Someone to look after you. Please, live with me’
With sadness in his eyes, they hug.
‘How’s your new living situations
‘It’s good’
Daisy is outside in the waiting room. Barely making out what they are saying.
She stands and puts her ear against the door
She stands and puts her ear against the door
‘Do you share a bed’
Darren thinks about what to say. Daisy hears this and looks curious. Darren with a grin...
‘That’s probably best left untold’ It makes Leah smile too, as well as Daisy.
It’s been a week. What do you think your future holds
‘Well, I maybe thinking too way ahead, but… I would like to have children.
Daisy goes into a thought, thinking about the idea of having children. She walks around thinking.
Even before what happened last week, Darren has desired to one day have children.
Despite his mental health, he would like to be a dad someday.
If we ever had children, we would never exclude them from his life like his family.
He would be better than that.
Despite his mental health, he would like to be a dad someday.
If we ever had children, we would never exclude them from his life like his family.
He would be better than that.
‘You thinking too ahead, yes. You’re been in a relationship for a week now and you’ve been getting better thanks to Daisy.
Daisy stops and enters the counselor's office. Darren and Leah look to see Daisy enter.
‘May I sit in?’ Daisy says. The counselor nods. Daisy closes the door and sits next to Darren, holding his hands
‘Darren. I love children. But please wait… wait until he got our lives sorted. Until--
She stops talking as Darren looks disappointed and turns his head away.
‘Look it’s not a bad idea, Darren. I know you would a great dad. But please… you need to get better first. There's no rush.’
‘May I say something, Daisy’
They look at Leah, they look at each other, then back to Leah. They agree.
Leah tells them to be careful, despite being young and the fact that Darren getting better.
She warns Daisy to be careful, relationships can be hard and like a house of cards,
Darren’s mental health may break down again if the relationship breaks down too.
Leah tells them to be careful, despite being young and the fact that Darren getting better.
She warns Daisy to be careful, relationships can be hard and like a house of cards,
Darren’s mental health may break down again if the relationship breaks down too.
A while later, Darren sits at the end of their bed. She lays his head against her and tells him
‘I will never hurt you’. She stares, thinking about what the future may hold.
‘I will never hurt you’. She stares, thinking about what the future may hold.
Comments
Post a Comment