Screenwriting - Week 8



01/04/2019

My concept is in a rough stage of development at the moment and is not as well developed compared to the other concept proposals in the class that were presented today. Like the proposal presentations for the research paper, each presentation from other people in the class showed me how I could had done my presentation better and how I can improve in the future. It's more trickier for me because I'm new to this course of study, while others have been here since last year and done the first year film, in which they would be familiar with what each tutor is expecting form us.

 Oisin and Caleb's concepts were very interesting and are a short film and television series that I would definitely watch. I have noticed the overall presentations today in the class have leaned towards action and thriller genres

 Tutor feedback
My comparisons with other influences were clear and analytical, my overall concept is very methodological, but the wording in the conclusion could had been better and less self-deprecating e.g. fresh instead of trendy. It's an interesting thought because I wasn't aiming to be self-deprecating.

 Class feedback
The class question whether there will be flashbacks in the film. My intention is not to have narration, but merely a majority of the story is set before the counselling session and doesn't have narration like conventional flashbacks. I have never really thought about my story as being a flashback. Otherwise, I would consulted with Patrick well before the presentation because it's one of multiple cinematic aspects that we have consult with Patrick before going ahead with it.

 My main character needs a tangible goal at the end to feel at peace. Like in A Place to Stand, Tiare goes to the marae to stay with his family to find peace.
We were given a road map exercise task which made us question in detail the screenwriting structure of our concept. It was a tricky one for me because I was stuck on some elements and I didn't know how to answer it. There were some terms that were new to me like Super-Objective, Outer-want, Inner-need, mid-point, and 'dark night of the soul'. 
I practically had a mental block, but I completed what I could in that roadmap exercise.

 I could potentially use this roadmap as a tool to further develop my story, particularly things that I didn't propose in the presentation or beforehand. It's something I could work on in my self-directed time this week.
BSA204 Concept Roadmap

 Title: State of Mind
Genre: Slice-of-life drama
Themes: Mental health, the human condition
Setting: Invercargill
Protagonist: Darren
Super-Objective: To take one day at a time
Outer-want (external objective): To find work that doesn’t affect his mental well-being
Inner-need (internal objective): To get a clearer mind without worry and feeling down
Inner conflict / dilemma: Darren’s anxiety and depression
Inciting incident / External obstacle (or antagonist): 
1TP / How does my Protagonist react to this obstacle?  
Further complications: 
Mid-point:
“Dark Night of the Soul”/2TP: Darren breaks down. He has an epiphany that he everyone feels down too.
Character Arc: 

Resolution:  He is slightly better and finishes the counselling session with a hopeful outlook on life

06/04/2019


 What is stopping Darren from suicide as a resolution to the film's story?
Eventually saying the right thing for his sister to say and Darren's patience is key to what makes him better?
Someone who is apathetic to mental health awareness could be an obstacle to the plot?

07/04/2019


https://thescriptlab.com/screenwriting/script-tips/895-understanding-the-midpoint-mirror/
https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/secrets-of-story-structure-pt-7/#
http://www.writerstoauthors.com/story-structure-the-midpoint/

 What is a midpoint?
I was having difficulty understanding a mid-point, so I looked it up online and at first, I still didn't understand it.
The midpoint divides the second act and tends to change the direction of the story, if not an event that makes an impact on the plot. It's a logical outcome from the previous scenes, but is new, interesting, and unexpecting to the plot / story. The main character takes action.
https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/screenplay-inciting-incident/

 What is an inciting incident?
In one source, the definition of an inciting incident is debatable. It can be conflict introduced to the protagonist that he or she must resolve by the end, it can be a life-changing moment to start the story, and it can be replaced by establishing character. Furthermore, an inciting incident has to be shown on-screen and involve the protagonist, it could be a call to adventure (an inciting incident known as 'Call to Action') or establish what the stakes are in this story, make a connection between the protagonist and antagonist.
https://www.studiobinder.com/blog/inciting-incident-examples/

 Examples of an inciting incident in movies
Die Hard - arrival of antagonist, Hans Gruber
Monsters Inc - arrival of the little girl, Boo
Perhaps that apathetic someone is a person from Darren's past. I am kind of conflicted about adding another because it wasn't included in the presentation and think the things I have added to the roadmap has made it too much for a short film. 
In addition, I'm not it would work as an inciting incident because if that character is introduced in that aspect, then that character has to return later in the story and somehow be resolved by the end, but then I don't have anything for an inciting incident that is also an external obstacle or antagonist. However, it could work as a turning point

 Darren saves someone's life and realises the value of his own?

At this point, I don't know how to develop my story without adding new characters.

 I have been trying to develop the story and make more sense through the roadmap, but it's just continuing to make a mess and not any more clearer.


 BSA204 Concept Roadmap

Title: State of Mind
Genre: Slice-of-life drama
Themes: Mental health, the human condition
Setting: Invercargill
Protagonist: Darren
Super-Objective: To take one day at a time
Outer-want (external objective): To find work that doesn’t affect his mental well-being
Inner-need (internal objective): To get a clearer mind without worry and feeling down
Inner conflict / dilemma: Darren’s anxiety and depression, the worth of life
Inciting incident / External obstacle (or antagonist): 
1TP / How does my Protagonist react to this obstacle? Encounters someone from his past, which causes him distress and his sister intervenes.
Further complications: 
Mid-point: Darren saves someone's life
“Dark Night of the Soul”/2TP: Darren breaks down. His sister finds the right thing to say to Darren
Character Arc: Mildly depressed, anxious, and is unhappy about life to having his mental health slightly improved and has a pinch of hope towards life.

Resolution: He is slightly better and finishes the counselling session with a hopeful outlook on life

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